provocative-envy:

pairing: pansy parkinson x harry potter

setting: modern, non-magical, reality/film star au; based on this

word count: 4,654 words

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(7:22 am) Did you see the casting news yet? For Boy Who Lived?

(8:15 am) fuck off its sunday

(8:16 am) Ronald.

(8:17 am) unless they chose to go with an actual fucking cgi flamingo i dont give a shit right now and it can wait until tomorrow

(8:19 am) It really can’t. Harry’s going to fire you when he finds out.

(8:19 am) ??????? get ur blasphemous ass back to church no he’s not

(8:20 am) Yes, he is. It was YOUR idea to scrap the chemistry test.

(8:23 am) omg what is ur DAMAGE chemistry tests r dumb af harry hates them

(8:24 am) And sometimes you have to act as his AGENT, not his best friend, and advise him to do the things he hates, Ronald. Like chemistry tests.

(8:25 am) thx for the fortune cookie fun fact i’ll pass it on to harry’s latest oscar nom ok

(8:29 am) Check Variety. They reported on the casting this morning. There was a “leak” at the studio. Naturally.

(8:32 am) harrys gonna fucking fire me ur right

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BREAKING: Hurricane Hollywood star tapped for female lead in Paramount’s Boy Who Lived

October 11, 2016. Los Angeles.

Well, it’s official.

Seemingly permanent tabloid staple Pansy Parkinson (Hurricane Hollywood; The Hottie and the Nottie), better known for her outrageous late-night party antics than she is for her acting prowess, has been cast as Harry Potter’s (Under the Stairs) on-screen love interest for the futuristic dystopian thriller, Boy Who Lived, slated for release by Paramount sometime in Summer 2018. While Parkinson has been persistently vocal about her desire to make the transition from her Cristal throne in Vegas to the slightly more respectable silver screen, this will be her first role in a major motion picture.

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